Monday, October 7, 2013

To 28E, c/o XXX Church

To 28E, c/o XXX CHURCH

After an amazing trip to South Africa that led straight to Exxxotica NJ, I was exhausted. I decided to change my flight and leave directly after my shift today, just to have a little breathing room before Tuesday. Although I do believe that everything happens for a reason, little did I know what United 1224 flight had in store for me.

I always book window seats, because I love to curl up and read, and as I settled in, a girl in her twenties sat down next to me. Soon after, a guy sat down in the aisle seat. They began a bit of that polite airplane banter that only existed to me as background noise, until he asked what she did for a living. 

"I do ministry work."

My ears perked up, because sometimes I encounter ministry volunteers when I travel and we often trade stories about non-profits & NGOs in other countries that need help. But THEN, I couldn't believe what came next.

"I minister to people in, uh... porn, so I've been dealing with SKETCHY PORN STARS at some convention for the last few days, so..." *she shudders, disgusted* (The guy, who may have even been an attendee of Exxxotica, looks intrigued.)

I felt a fiery hot sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. This was supposed to be 5 1/2 hours of peaceful reading in the sky, relaxing on my way home to sleep in my own bed after a busy (but awesome) 2+ weeks. She is seated SIX INCHES away from me. I am FURIOUS, and I know I am about to explode if I stay quiet.

"I AM one of those sketchy porn stars", I exclaim rather loudly. She turns, surprised. Many other people in surrounding rows turn around too, curious to know what a 'sketchy porn star' looks like. "and that's not very Christian of you."

She turns and looks me in the face, wide eyed. "What's your name?" (as if my name mattered to her then. It may matter NOW, as I tweet about our exchange to almost a quarter of a million people, blog about it, and discuss it on my RADIO SHOW next week.)

I did tell her and she responded with something like I wasn't wearing makeup so she didn't know it was me or some nonsense. I just stared at her as she tried in vain to dig herself out of her hole. I turned away and stared out the window as we taxied down the runway, considering my options. In the meantime, she began nervously chatting to the guy about how she's been working so hard at the show and seeing all the women being so mistreated by all the men and it upsets her sooooo much. Poor souls. 

Minutes later, to me: "I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that. I guess I was trying to be cool." 

I look at her again. "XXX Church, right?" She nods. "I recognize you. You came by our booth." Now she knows I know the group she works with. I began to loudly explain how she was passing judgement and had no business doing so. As I do this, I understand that my spoken words will never be enough to express to her how upset I am. So I decided to write her a letter instead. 


Dear 28E,

Since we're about to spend some time together, allow me to introduce myself. I'm jessica drake. I've been in the adult business now for over 10 years as a performer, writer, director, and Sex Educator. I am not a victim. I am not mistreated. I am not an addict. I was not sexually abused. Men do not mistreat me. I am not exploited. 

You told me you don't know why you said what you said...but I do. 

You said it because you're a hypocrite. You may have said it because you're brainwashed. I'm sure it wasn't the first time you've spoken that way about us. You said it to a perfect stranger on an airplane within 3 minutes of meeting him, and I can only imagine the things that you say to others within your organization. Your hypocrisy is, in part, my issue with organized religion. I have more spirituality and compassion in the fingers that I'm using to type this out on my iPad than you have in your whole body. I hope this lesson might be the catalyst that helps you change that.

In just a few sentences, you have shamed us, judged us, and attempted to influence a stranger with your skewed reality. In the name of JESUS.

You are representing XXXChurch. There are only 2 viable explanations:

A. You are parroting their beliefs and feelings about porn stars, in which case your promotional stickers you pass out at our sex conventions should read "Jesus loves porn stars...but WE think they're icky"

B. You are sharing your own very personal feelings about porn performers, and should NOT be publicly representing XXX Church.

Throughout Exxxotica, I was not mistreated once, but sitting next to you, I feel utterly violated. I am more offended sitting next to a hypocrite than you ever would have been seated next to a PORN STAR, and believe me, right about now I'd rather be out on the wing than in this seat beside you. At the very least, I am hopeful this will be a learning experience for you...and if not you, then perhaps for the public, the people at XXX Church and the shows that allow you access to us, like Exxxotica.

Sincerely,

The Sketchy Porn Star
28F

Sunday, September 22, 2013

on the road again!

leaving in just 6 hours for the airport, heading to SEXPO South Africa Joburg! i'll be there signing for Adult World and Wicked Sept. 26-29th and THEN i'm going straight on to EXXXOTICA NJ October 4-6th!

don't miss the chance to meet me, take pics, maybe even get some movies. mention you read it here on my blog, and there's a FREE treat in it for you.

see you there!

xoxo,
j

UNDERWORLD trailer

it's AWESOME...

UNDERWORLD is my newest movie from Wicked Pictures and very well may be my new favorite. here's the (softcore) trailer. enjoy!



it's up on wicked.com now, and it will be on shelves very soon.

xo,
j

Friday, September 6, 2013

moratorium

there has been a third performer found to be HIV positive, and the moratorium has been reinstated. my heart goes out to that person and every person affected. it can always be any of us, at any time.

i implore you, as fans, fellow performers, media, and outsiders looking in-

please hold your comments, accusations, generalizations, assumptions, or anything else you do not know as FACT.

if you feel obligated to do something or say something, offer your SUPPORT.

i appreciate the concern you have expressed for me. i assure you that i have not been shooting, and as i stated in a previous blog, i will not shoot again until i feel that it is the right time. 

performers, there are many things that you can do to generate income-
feature dance, house dance, online auctions, work on your website, solo girl cam shows, solo skype shows, set up an online store for custom video clips and personal merchandise. 

also consider using this downtime to do something that will help you plan for your future.

invest in yourself. step away and practice some self care. relax and take a little break. take a deep breath.  take care of yourselves.

love,
jd

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

SKYPE

hi guys!


i asked my TWITTER FOLLOWERS last week if they had any interest in Skype shows, and the response was pretty solid. i'm not convinced that this is something i'm going to do regularly, but i'm going to do something really special for a very limited time, as an incentive for you to donate money to a GREAT CAUSE- Aids Walk LA!


for the next week, when you donate $250 to my personal page, you will get a 20 minute Skype session with me for free. it's a tax write off, and a very important cause to everyone. when you make your donation, i will email you to discuss important details and set up a time that works best for you- i'm super flexible... but if you don't believe me, you'll find out just how flexible during our Skype show. ; )
(i think that last line was borderline creepy, lol)

help TEAM WICKED beat last year's record & do something really nice for yourself too.

xo,
j



Sunday, September 1, 2013

Michigan Seminars

BIG news for Michigan!

i'm heading your way for TWO seminars for our friends at Cirilla's- join me at both for evenings of sexy exploration with lots of great info, tips, demos, Q & A sessions, giveaways AND a meet and greet afterwards with photo opportunities.

Thursday Sept. 12th- 7PM
Oral Sex for COUPLES
1050 E. Sternberg Road
Norton Shores, MI

Friday Sept. 13th- 7PM
Anal Sex 101
3525 Plainfield Ave. NE
Grand Rapids, MI

you can also get more details from Cirilla's TWITTER or HERE, but chances are, you're already following  me. ; )

there will also be many chances to hear me on the radio during my time in Michigan, and i'll make sure i tweet those for you.

xo,
j

www.guidetowickedsex.com

Monday, August 26, 2013

it starts with me.

for WEEKS i have agonized writing this blog.

when the Hep C situation recently reared it's ugly head, i started to write. i'd pour my thoughts and feelings out, then go back and edit. delete and rewrite. rewrite yet again. i tried to get more facts, and then i kept writing. while it was still just a saved draft, before i had even worked up the discipline to finish it and hit "publish post", i learned about the current HIV situation, and in an instant, i was hit with the same exact feeling i had back in 2004 when i found myself just FOUR days away from being on a first-generation quarantine list. i don't think you ever forget that tingling shock, that sinking in the pit of your stomach when you think that life as you know it has ended.

right now we are supposedly in the middle of a moratorium. safeguards are in place to notify and (hopefully) support the person/people who is/are affected by this horrible tragedy, but let me remind you...this moratorium does nothing unless we are taking into account the HUMAN factor in all of this and realize that NO ONE knows what ANYONE really does in their off-camera time.


look at us, as an industry.

we are SHAMING a girl whose life is changed forever. it could have been me. you. any of us.

we are unjustly pointing fingers, judging and blaming people.

we are attacking each other online and in public forums right in the sights of mainstream media.

we are going on crazy, hate-driven rants on blogs calling people names and making accusations and threats, totally destroying our credibility, and forwarding the stereotypes about the mental stability (or lack thereof) in this industry.



there have been several mentions of unionizing, and while this may be good in theory, in practical application, the likeliness of it being run fairly is nil.

personally, i think that in order to effect change, it has to begin on an individual level.

*right now, i do not feel comfortable shooting. i will not shoot until i do.

*i will, as a performer, require a test for HIV, Hep B & C, chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, and trichomoniasis that is newer than 14 days from my on screen partners. i will do my due diligence and check it's validity.

*as a director, i will require my talent to have tests newer than 14 days. period.

*if i am told by an agency that this means i will pay a higher rate for a performer, i will not continue to book through that agency.

*as always, i will continue to adhere to a specific list of talent that i am willing to work with. i will continue to add or remove people at MY discretion.

you can do this too. make your own guidelines. we have to lead each other and help each other. not by hate speech and shaming and dueling unions, but by strength...and willpower...and by example. EDUCATE yourself about the risks that you take on and off camera, and make informed decisions with YOUR best interest at heart because chances are, no one else will. we can be mentors and support one another. i'm not perfect, none of us are. i will not judge you. i'm no doctor, either, nor do i claim to be- but if there is ANYTHING i can do to help you- answer a question, talk with you, listen to you, support you in any way, reach out to me. if you do not have my number, DM me. and if you don't need support, then lend some to someone else.

FUCKING STAND UP for yourselves. in closing, i will quote an article i wrote about the SYPHILIS incident last year:

"Performers- RESPECT YOURSELF. you only have one body, one life, one chance at this. you are worth more than whatever you are being paid for the scene."