Friday, March 9, 2012

Hell just froze over.

You guys know me.
you know me so well in fact, that sometimes when i say "good mornin y'all" on my twitter, you say "hi bacon chick" and send me pics of bacon for breakfast...even JD foods, the guys that make bacon salt, bacon croutons, and yes, even bacon LUBE follow me on twitter. not only do i love bacon, but i will also eat damn near anything. street food in cambodia. room service after it's been sitting in my room all day (or night). anything that comes out of a drive-thru window, lots of things out of vending machines. leftovers off the floorboard of my car or from the bottom of my purse. things dipped in chocolate. things that are deep fried. things that are deep fried then dipped in chocolate. you get the picture.

amazingly enough, my cholesterol isn't as high as our national debt. being thin is in my genes, and even though it sure got me picked on and even bullied as i fumbled my way through school, it sure does come in handy now. so why would i do a three day JUICE FAST? glad you asked.

when i shot "jessica drake's Guide to Wicked Sex- Threesomes" i was fortunate to have some mainstream press on my set. one of them was Emily, a writer for xoJane who did an amazing piece about the time she spent on my set. as i was reading it, i roamed around the rest of the site (you should too, it's pretty awesome) when i noticed that one of their other writers had done the Ritual Cleanse. i had been really curious about juice fasts/diets- i mean come on, i live in LA where it seems that EVERYONE does stuff like that. So i read a little more. then i ordered some for myself. before i launch into the rest of my story, let me first tell you that i am NOT getting paid to write this. and i'm also not getting free product. though i wouldn't mind if i did. hint, hint, Ritual Cleanse.

i used their site and i chose to try the three day reset cleanse with the seasonal juice option. it's the shortest cleanse they have, and i figured if i can climb Mt Kilimanjaro, then i can surely drink juice for three days.

sometime before 8 am monday morning, it arrived at my door, in an insulated cooler bag with ice packs inside.

There are six juices a day, and you drink one every two hours. in between you can have as much water as you want, and if you CAN'T give up caffeine (i draw the line there) then you can have green tea. inside the cooler was also a short list of cheat foods- lettuce, avocado, celery, cucumber. i started off promising myself that i would eat a little lettuce every day in the evening, so it would be like having dinner. almost.

my new best friend

i loaded them into my fridge amongst the butter, baconnaise, hot fudge, biscuits in a can, red velvet cake, 4 kinds of gourmet coffee creamer (you get the idea, right?) and cracked open the first one.

the mix of spinach, romaine, kale, celery, cucumber, green apple and lemon was surprisingly good. i drank it in about 20 minutes. not really the kind of thing you chug. i had a cup of hot green tea, lots of water, and two hours later i had another one. this time, it was a seasonal fruit juice. orange, blackberry, and apple- and WOW, it was good. the rest of the day went pretty much the same. green juice, then a fruity one. i especially liked the spicy lemonade, it kind of reminded me of my second favorite adult beverage called a "burning mandarin", minus the vodka. at the end of the day, the last drink is almost a smoothie, with cashew pieces and vanilla. it's tasty and filling.

i made it through the first day! and with almost no trouble... i only had an issue around 4pm and then again around 9:30pm, and coincidentally, those are my regular lunch and dinner times, respectively. yes, i know that alone says something about my eating habits. don't judge me.

the second day went almost as well. i say almost because around 5pm as i was walking Big (my dog) i noticed just how tasty he was looking. i made it back home without taking of bite of him to discover i was about 2 hours overdue for a juice. whew. sorry Big.

also during the second day, i noticed i felt really good. i had a really different energy that coffee doesn't give me. my mood was better. not that i'm a bitch, but i get pretty stressed out sometimes, juggling everything i do. i'm sure drinking mass amounts of water was helping me too.

by the third day, i felt AMAZING. i started to tell people about it because by then i knew i'd be able to finish it, but i swear when i tell people they look at me like i'm nuts. i am internationally known to be a ravenous carnivore. i get it. but still...

on the fourth day, thursday, i woke up knowing i could eat food. i went downstairs and looked in the fridge. what would be my first meal? sadly, nothing looked good...except for the 3 1/2 juices i had left. so i did it again. i did have sushi last night...but i wanted a salad with it, not my usual cream cheese roll and dumplings and mochi for dessert. who am i??

this morning i started off with my last juice. i was sad to see it go, but thrilled i had one to drink.
for lunch i just had a veggie patty (never tried THOSE before) and a salad.
then i ordered more juice. this time, i did it on their site, but i ordered ala carte. just for the mornings. ; )

i think i lost one full size in my jeans, probably 3-5 lbs, but that wasn't my intent. the biggest reward for me here was 1. all this energy, and B. i just feel so f'n HAPPY.

if by chance you want to try this, and you should, the good people over at Ritual Cleanse have been kind enough to offer 10% off all orders coming from my readers. they deliver all over the US, so check em out. when you get to the checkout, just enter insidejdreader as your coupon code.

and just for you, before i go to bed tonight, i will post a picture of me all lean in my jammies.

may the juice be with you.

1 comment:

  1. I have been looking for something to give me more energy. I will give this a shot and let you know my results. Adrian


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